Do you want to be more interesting AND attractive? That's exactly what will happen if you type your email address below.
Growing Up: NVC for terrorists
|
hey guys... I've been writing regularly on substack & I thought I'd share something here. enjoy I have a strong preference to live in a society where a few things happen… 1. We understand (or agree) murder is wrong (i.e. not allowed, for good reason). If you murder someone there’s a justice system. You can’t just do it and no consequences. 2. In the justice system you get a fair trial. Also important. So it’s not oh you murdered someone now a mob can come and kill you. No.
What else. 3. You can criticise the govt. You can speak freely. Important. Many other things. Without getting into weeds, so what?
So, this is my preference, to live somewhere that has this set up, and… easy. Plenty of societies work like this (more or less… let’s maybe explore how they got there another time…) So I chose one. I’m living here. Israel.
Now you’re living happily in your society knowing murder is illegal and there’s a justice system and you can criticise the government and dress freely etc.
Great. But now, uh oh, other people are trying to kill you. People in a society nearby. Now they don’t have the same freedoms. But that’s okay. You’re not trying to be dictator of the world and force everyone to have the same society set up as you (although it would be great if these people had the same freedoms, as you hate to see people say, killed for not wearing a hijab, or executed in the street for protesting.)
So what then? It’s not live and let live with this situation. If one side says live and let live, and the other side says die and actively tries to kill you, you need a plan.
So you can defend yourself, protect yourself. They will try to kill us but we will stop any attacks that come. E.g. shooting the missiles out of the sky. Or why don’t we just kill the guys who are trying to kill us? Protective use of force?
Ok. What if I have another idea. What if it’s not really normal to spend your life trying to kill others. What if those people are deeply unhappy and actually would rather be doing something else.
In nonviolent communication (NVC) speak. What if they are just like me and you. They have the same needs as all humans have. They’re just struggling to get those needs met.
Maybe this is incorrect. Maybe there’s a species of human that’s truly evil* or designed differently.
But it’s interesting. Say NVC is a valid model. Why not apply it here. Test it. See if it works. Why is no one doing this?? Are they? Has anyone tried? What’s getting in the way?
(See if it works meaning, sit with people who are filled with murderous thoughts and see if we can help them get their needs met another way… sit with Hamas? How would this work? Logistically? How to make it safe for me so I’m not killed in the process. What’s the most efficient strategy. Go to the leader? Go to who’s funding them? Where are they getting this kill people strategy from anyway? Maybe go to that source? And do what?)
*I very much do not believe this... see my favourite Solzhenitsyn line:
"If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?"
So, these are things I've been thinking about... NVC if you recall is Marshall Rosenberg's model I told you dear readers about in a newsletter a long time ago (Jan 2024 apparently... HI if you've been here since then & if you're still here... very cool)... about this time last year I travelled to a 9 day NVC training in Sri Lanka, and I was hopeful about tackling some of the aboves questions there... alas didn't quite pan out that way okkkk bye! P.S. oh yeah, the substack is basically a space for me to go and write freely, as an (almost) daily practice. it's deliberately unpolished and all over the shop. feel free to go there & read directly but I guess I'll continue taking interesting parts out and sharing here? (maybe... let's see). substack is here. old newsletters are here. P.P.S. if you know anyone who is seriously working on these questions, I'd love to meet them. Forwarded this and want to subscribe? Click here. |
Hi! I'm Delia Burgess
Do you want to be more interesting AND attractive? That's exactly what will happen if you type your email address below.
Dear readers, hello I'm back. Writing to you again from Jerusalem, 14.5 months since I last wrote... Let's get into it... An idea I'm thinking about: is history written by the victors? K: But whoever ends up having the power to write the history books will impose their political and ideological world view on those events so that our descendants are given a worldview that says X or says Y. What do you say to that? R: Well, that's what Orwell wrote, isn't it? "He who controls the past controls...
Guyssssss I am coming in hot. I've just seen a video from Glastonbury where a performer is getting everyone to cheer "death, death to the IDF". This is f*****ed. I thought we got to the point in liberal democracies where chanting death to a group of people wasn't cool? Whatever your views on the situation in Gaza. Imagine if after Putin's invasion of Ukraine people took to the streets of London and were chanting "death, death to the Russian soldiers"... less catchy but this would just be...
Guys hey,**There is an audio version of this newsletter! Listen here**Okay there's is a thing I'm dealing with this week. I felt called to share because OOOF emotions. Maybe you're interested, maybe you're not. Maybe you relate, maybe you think I'm an alien. Maybe you already thought that. Let's find out. (Or not, if you want to skip, there are some beautiful words from RuPaul below re inner child healing... I bought myself MasterClass for Christmas and just took "RuPaul Teaches...