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Hi! I'm Delia Burgess

Growing Up: no such thing as good or bad

Published over 2 years ago • 4 min read

Hello from the Himalayas!

Quick one from me…

I wanted to share with you two allegories (correct use of this word?) from:

A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose, by Eckhart Tolle

Here's the first:

The deeper interconnectedness of all things and events implies that the mental labels of “good” and bad” are ultimately illusory. They always imply a limited perspective and so are true only relatively and temporarily. This is illustrated in the story of a wise man who won an expensive car in a lottery. His family and friends were very happy for him and came to celebrate. “Isn't it great!” they said. “You are so lucky.” The man smiled and said “Maybe.” For a few weeks he enjoyed driving the car. Then one day a drunken driver crashed into his new car at an intersection and he ended up in the hospital, with multiple injuries. His family and friends came to see him and said, “That was really unfortunate. “ Again the man smiled and said, “Maybe.” While he was still in the hospital, one night there was a landslide and his house fell into the sea. Again his friends came the next day and said, “Weren't you lucky to have been here in hospital.” Again he said, “Maybe.”

Here's the second:

The Zen Master Hakuin lived in a town in Japan. He was held in high regard and many people came to him for spiritual teaching. Then it happened that the teenage daughter of his next­ door neighbour became pregnant. When being questioned by her angry and scolding parents as to the identity of the father, she finally told them that he was Hakuin, the Zen Master. In great anger the parents rushed over to Hakuin and told him with much shouting and accusing that their daughter had confessed that he was the father. All he replied was, “Is that so?”
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News of the scandal spread throughout the town and beyond. The Master lost his reputation. This did not trouble him. Nobody came to see him anymore. He remained unmoved. When the child was born, the parents brought the baby to Hakuin. “You are the father, so you look after him.” The Master took loving care of the child. A year later, the mother remorsefully confessed to her parents that the real father of the child was the young man who worked at the butcher shop. In great distress they went to see Hakuin to apologize and ask for forgiveness. “We are really sorry. We have come to take the baby back. Our daughter confessed that you are not the father.” “Is that so?” is all he would say as he handed the baby over to them.
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The Master responds to falsehood and truth, bad news and good news, in exactly the same way: “Is that so?” He allows the form of the moment, good or bad, to be as it is and so does not become a participant in human drama. To him there is only this moment, and this moment is as it is. Events are not personalized. He is nobody's victim. He is so completely at one with what happens that what happens has no power over him anymore. Only if you resist what happens are you at the mercy of what happens, and the world will determine your happiness and unhappiness.
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The baby is looked after with loving care. Bad turns into good through the power of nonresistance. Always responding to what the present moment requires, he lets go of the baby when it is time to do so.

I don't know why but since reading that book three years ago those stories have always stuck with me, as simplistic as they are... Keen to hear your thoughts on whether you find the ideas interesting or whether you think they’re total BS. How could you not be upset if your house slid into the sea for example? Or maybe you're already a Zen master and you ridded yourself of the mental labels of good and bad years ago…?
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​This week I’m grateful for: Buddhism as a philosophy

I wrote this as the original intro to this newsletter before I left London (cheeky planning ahead this week):

I realise that while you're reading this I'll have just visited the oldest and largest Buddhist monastery in the Nubra Valley of Ladakh, northern India. And now I'm thinking wowwww what I'm about to share is going to seem so cliche.

Oh well. Going to roll with it. If I return to London totally rejecting any Western takes on Eastern philosophies, I'll let you know. But then that would just be me with a different Western take on an Eastern philosophy? So unlikely. Also are you meant to capitalise Eastern and Western? Or no?​
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And now I’m editing this newsletter having visited that monastery this morning, and having learnt lots through numerous conversations over the past couple of days with a former Buddhist monk (amongst others). It’s deeply meaningful for me to be able to connect the ideas I’ve read in books or picked up through meditation apps / podcasts / psychedelic experiences / yoga / everyday conversations about the human experience etc etc with teachings direct from the monastery… lots more to say on Buddhism as a philosophy and how all these ideas relate (and can be applied to anyone’s life, shaved head or not) but please give me two weeks until I’m reunited with a laptop!
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The reason for mentioning this now then is just to say that I don’t need to feel embarrassed that a small German man’s writing was my gateway drug to these ideas. I think Eckhart Tolle really gets it. That’s an opinion. What’s true is that his book (A New Earth) had a massive impact on my life when I was in a very low place. Time to stop apologising for books that resonate with me! I guess some of us need some extra guidance in this life…

That's all for now :). Feel free to share with anyone who you suspect may be a closeted seeker…

Chat soon

xx Delia

P.S. Forwarded this and want to sign up to receive these weekly? Click here. Or reply to this with the word "subscribe" and I'll add you to the mailing list :)

P.P.S. Want to revisit a previous newsletter? Find previous editions here.

P.P.P.S. I realise I used the word ‘ideas’ about 17 times in this newsletter. I think the altitude is affecting my brain’s ability to come up with synonyms…I’ll do better next week.

Hi! I'm Delia Burgess

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