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Growing Up: how to get people to listen to you and online sexual threats
Hey guys,
How to speak so that people want to listen is the name of Julian Treasure's 2018 TED Talk. The 10 minute video has had 55 million views, making it the sixth most watched TED Talk ever (as it stands). (BUT WHAT ARE THE OTHER FIVE you ask?? Another time... stay on topic.)
TED's tagline is 'Ideas worth spreading', so here we go with some solid ideas that I'd like to spread to you ( / really remind myself of because I think I spend too much time breaking one of his golden rules... no negativity. Ooops)
Wait, who's the guy giving the talk? Julian Treasure is a ~sound expert~, he helps business design sound in their physical places amongst other things.
Great, now teach me how to get people to listen.
First up there are a few things Julian tells us we should never do (should we want to be listened to). These are the ~seven deadly sins of speaking~.
Dun dun dun.
They are:
2. Judging ("it's very hard to listen to someone if you know you're being judged and found wanting at the same time")
3. Negativity (self explanatory)
4. Complaining (a form of negativity which he calls viral misery (and the national sport of the UK))
5. Excuses (not taking responsibility for your actions, using a "blamethrower" to pass it onto everyone else)
6. Lying (which he says can begin with embroidery and exaggeration - things that demean our language. Oops I'm definitely guilty of exaggeration too, grateful to have spent a couple of weeks with my Dad who happily pulls me up on it every single time.)
7. Dogmatism ("the confusion of facts with opinions": when somebody is bombarding you with their opinions as if they are true, it's difficult to listen to. Hmm, hopefully I'm not doing that here... to be clear these are Julian's views which I thought you might find interesting :) )
And these are the things that rather you might do, should you want to be listened to, and of course it comes in the form of a handy acronym to help you remember, HAIL:
Authenticity be yourself ("standing in your own truth")
Integrity be your word (doing what you say and being someone people can trust)
Love wish them well (for two reasons he says, absolute honesty not always the best idea "you look ugly this morning". Honesty tempered with love, much better. And because if you're wishing someone well, it's very difficult to judge them)
This week on Growing Up with Delia Burgess
Ep. 56 - Kristy McSweeney: TV, politics and online sexual threats
Kristy McSweeney works in media and political strategy. She is the founder of the PR Counsel and regularly appears on Sky News. Kristy ran as the Liberal Party candidate for Swan in Western Australia at the 2022 federal election.
A friend of the podcast introduced me to Kristy as someone he thought I'd enjoy chatting to. He was right.
Enjoy.
xx Delia
P.S. As always, feel free to share with... someone who'd like to be listened to?
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Hi! I'm Delia Burgess
Do you want to be more interesting AND attractive? That's exactly what will happen if you type your email address below.
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