Growing Up: fear not living up to your potential & Epictetus

"In the end, it's all about who you become and how much you grow as you work hard to go from A to B whether you achieve the initial goal you set in the end... Therefore, there's no such thing as failure if your goal is to grow. Don't fear failure. Fear not growing. Fear being stagnant. Fear not living up to your full potential" - Mo Seetubtim (Founder and CEO of the Happiness Planner, on Ep. 42 of the Growing Up with Delia Burgess podcast)

Ehh guys the name of the podcast makes me cringe every time. Not the Growing Up bit, the "with Delia Burgess" bit. So, the plan is, grow the podcast to the point that when you type GR it's the first podcast that comes up. Then I can just say it's called "Growing Up". People start typing, first result they see is Growing Up with Delia Burgess, then they're like cool this is obviously it. Great, problem solved.

Onto this week's newsletter...

Hello friends!

I did my homework and read that chapter on Epictetus in Lives of the Stoics: The Art of Living from Zeno to Marcus Aurelius by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman

Before we get into it...I started reading Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People and something Epictetus talks about reminded me of the chapter on criticism. So THAT is what I'll write to you about next week. Buckle up.

Back to today. Here's a quick bio on Epictetus from another source (Encyclopedia Britannica) and then I'll share some little snippets from the book:

Epictetus, (born AD 55, probably at Hierapolis, Phrygia [now Pamukkale, Turkey]—died c. 135, Nicopolis, Epirus [Greece]), Greek philosopher associated with the Stoics.

His original name is not known; epiktētos is the Greek word meaning “acquired.” As a boy he was a slave but managed to attend lectures by the Stoic Musonius Rufus. He later became a freedman and lived his life lame and in ill health. In AD 90 he was expelled from Rome with other philosophers by the emperor Domitian, who was irritated by the favourable reception given by Stoics to opponents of his tyranny. The rest of his life Epictetus spent at Nicopolis.

Amazing. Now here are some fun facts / things Epictetus said from the Ryan Holiday book (Ryan Holiday i.e. American dude who has done pretty well from making Stoicism popular again via content creation... he's 35, his speaking fee is reportedly $100k and he has sold 3+ million books. Guess how he's sold that many books? Probably because his brand (the Daily Stoic) has 2m insta followers, 1m youtube subscribers etc and a daily newsletter with an audience that I'm guessing might be slightly bigger than this one (who's counting?). He doesn't have a PhD in history or philosophy or anything like that which is I'm guessing why he co-wrote it with Hanselman who has a Master's degree from Harvard Divinity School... actually Hanselman has "worked for over three decades in publishing as a bookseller, publisher and literary agent"... so maybe it's more to do with that point. Veryyyy interesting. And he sells courses. That's where you make money on the internet kids. I digress...)

Okay straight into the real stuff. Death.

First up, this is cool, because I feel like all (most?) of you have probably heard of Marcus Aurelius' Meditations (if not read them)? So here's something from Meditations (via the Holiday book)... (people usually get annoyed at me for saying things like "it's more certain that you'll die one day than it is that you'll wake up tomorrow" (stole that from Sam Harris) or you could be hit by a bus at any moment etc. So I'm glad Marcus and Epictetus were on the same page):

As you kiss your son, says Epictetus, whisper to yourself, "He may be dead in the morning." Don't tempt fate you say. By talking about a natural event? Is fate tempted when we speak of grain being reaped?

(Marcus Aurelius lost seven children in his lifetime... note to self: read Meditations in full and then write about it here one day.)

Here's some more Epictetus wisdom:

"If a person gave away your body to some passerby, you'd be furious", Epictetus said, yet we so easily hand our mind over to other people, letting them inside our heads or making us feel a certain way.

Epictetus was horrified by what he saw in the palaces and imperial offices of Rome, and resolved to live differently. "It is better to starve to death in a calm and confident state of mind," he would say, "than to live anxiously amidst abundance."

"For no man is a slave who is free in his will"

This is very similar to what Viktor Frankl taught us re surviving Auschwitz (Growing Up: ADHD & man's search for meaning):

What was central to Epictetus' survival as a slave - is to focus on what is up to us. Our attitudes... Our opinions about what has happened to us. Epictetus believed that as powerless as humans were over their external conditions, they always retained the ability to choose how they responded.

Ahh here is something that sounds like Mo's quote from up top:

"From now on, then" Epictetus said, "resolve to live as a grown-up who is making progress"

Some more fun facts on Epictetus:

Epictetus would die around 135 AC. Although he had been born into anonymity and slavery and would die of causes and in circumstances not known to us, it was never in doubt that his legacy would survive.

In the vein of Socrates and Cato, Epictetus neglected to publish a single word in his lifetime. Yet his teachings travelled widely even in his own time. Marcus Aurelius would be loaned a copy of Epictetus' lectures by his tutor Junius Rusticus. Hadrian had studied Epictetus and now his chosen protege would drink deeply from that same source of wisdom.

Final word of wisdom:

"Don't explain your philosophy", Epictetus said, "embody it"

Actually wait one more, because it ties in with Accountability club and why I'm not allowed to keep boasting about the cold showers I have every morning.

Epictetus was cautious not to let his self-discipline become a vice, to become some sort of contest with other people. "When you have accustomed your body to a frugal regime", he said, "don't put airs about it, and if you only drink water, don't broadcast the fact all the time. And if you ever want to go in for endurance training, do it for yourself and not for the world to see."

Ahh ancient Greeks and their endurance training. Cute.

Right.

Accountability Club:

Thank god this is over because it's getting a bit intimate.

week 1: omega-3 days complete: 42/42
week 2: sunlight days complete: 34.5/35
week 3: 10 min meditation days complete: 28/28
week 4: 10 min conscious movement days complete 19.5/21
week 5: 10 min worry time days complete 13/14
week 6: BANANAs days complete 6/7

Not a perfect score but not bad, congrats to me.

Habits are so weird. Like now I just do those things... how weird to think I had to consciously make myself do them at some point not very long ago...

I think I might keep adding / adjusting one habit each week (until I'm at a level that Epictetus would approve of, you know. But I will spare you the details...maybe).

Main thing is I am feeling so much better mentally these days (which is why I started the AC (accountability club, come on team) in the first place). Definitely being back in the office for this internship has played a major part in that too :) Next mountain to climb = find a FT job... stay tuned on that journey... going to need your guys' support 🙏

This week on the Growing Up with Delia Burgess podcast:

Ep. 42 - Mo Seetubtim: life of a nomad entrepreneur
Mo Seetubtim is the founder & CEO of The Happiness Planner.

^ this was a really cool chat! Enjoy.

Happy second week of March all

xx Delia

deliaburgess.blog
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Hi! I'm Delia Burgess

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